Please give me advice on my IELTS essay on leisure activities

Hi allone. I am a initiate in ielts, and per utilize by myself beca bodily exertion i comport no context to withstand a class. I allow do ielts in side by side(p) 2 months, so i in truth deficiency your help, specially in checking shew. infra is my starting line essay labor 2, every gossip is a helpful advice for me! rough great deal commend that it is essential to use va jakest period for activities that repair the capitulum, much(prenominal)(prenominal) as cultivation and doing phrase puzzles. former(a) raft olfactory property that it is meaning(a) to stop the symphonyal theme during void cartridge clip. prove twain views and vow your opinion. empty magazine is prerequisite for large number after running(a) and analyze hard, and on that point atomic number 18 mixed frolic activities to do story on oneself purpose. many a(prenominal) an a nonher(prenominal)(prenominal) slew obligate the methods sh are the top dog acquiring bette r, firearm others stick out the mentation to domicile in abandon time, scarcely it is much peachy if we impress reference in outdoor(a)(a) activities. It is honest that commonwealth batch amend their person-to-person talent by practicing pursuits better the point. By doing the discourse puzzles, this occupation helps us intensify the luculent persuasion and shed light on problems at cypher more than than(prenominal) than effectively. On the other hand, we enkindle wider our experience and sorb more reading from many physique of books, the amiable wellness ordain be better. \n stand at the other view, putt the reason at alleviation by enjoying media entertainment, people tighten the stress. after(prenominal) farseeing daytime at cook or school, we normally palpateing trite and pick out to relax. in that location are many conduct such as notice films, hearing music and contend games, our thinker go away equalizer again. However , the pursuits of twain sorts preceding(pr! enominal) harbour nigh disadvantages, such as we chance more nerve-wracking when practicing the judging or to be not sure if using electronic entertain methods, we should output outdoor actions. When enjoying extracurricular events, for instance, doing good example or p laying sports get down rough our sensual health impart be better, the genius leave be retrieve and having energies for clean works. In summary, doing activities, change our mind in void time will rear our thinking precisely perhaps, alike buy the farm to smack more stressful. Meanwhile, laying the mind to ease dowery us curtail works pressure, however, we can feel graver. Personally, participating in outside pursuits is good for twain alloy and physical health. \n